I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 21, due to frequent ovarian cysts that would cause pain and then burst inside. I didn’t think anything of it as the only symptoms I had, that I knew of, were a lack of a monthly cycle, and I didn’t mind. It was more like 2-4 times a year that I had one. I didn’t realize that pregnancy with PCOS would be difficult as well as other symptoms that are not as noticeable or known to me at the time.
This syndrome means I cannot digest sugar and it causes the cysts/eggs to not be strong enough to be fertilized. However, God knew that I wanted a baby really badly. I lost my cat of ten years to a blood clot and was depressed for 4 months after (long depression is a side effect of PCOS that I had been dealing with for years when I was younger). Once I was feeling more like me again, I decided to “get off the couch” and loose some weight. I found a book at the library called No Flours, No Sugars that made sense to me about how our bodies digest the sugars and flours so quickly and then we are hungry more often. So I watched the flours and sugars and started to walk on the treadmill about 3-5 days a week. Within 4 months, I was pregnant with our first son! I did not take any medication except maybe vitamins at the time.
After our first son was born, it took a while for me to want another baby simply that I was constantly doubting myself as a mother. Always wondering if I was doing the right thing – giving my son the right nutrition, education, and discipline. Our first son was about 13 months old when I was starting to have monthly issues all the time. I went to the doctor and she told me of the PCOS and how it should be called insulin resistance (can’t digest sugar). I was placed on Metformin (this is used on many diabetic patients to balance sugar) for one month to control the irregular cycle. I also told her that I did want to have another baby and she said that I could try the same diet I did before our first son, or I can take medication to help me conceive. I told her I wanted to try the natural way (I don’t like medication for many reasons) and within 4 months, healthier eating, and exercise, we were expecting our 2nd son.
Once boy #2 was born, our family was complete. All at once, he felt like the missing piece of the puzzle we needed for our family. I also knew I did want another baby after him, trying for a girl. I was also getting older as I did not get married until I was 31 and there are 2 1/2 years in between my two sons. When my 2nd son was about 16 months, I started having the same issues after my 1st son. I went on metformin for 1 month again, watched my diet, exercised, and it cleared up.
On April 12th, I was working from home. My husband was also at home looking for a new job. I was on the phone, when I started to feel ill. I didn’t know what, but mainly that I felt sick to my stomach. As soon as I got off the phone, I got on the floor to lie down. After a minute, I asked my husband to help me to the couch. He came over, helped me up, and the next thing I remember is he is trying to wake me up and I was lying on my back on the floor where I started. I had passed out and he had managed to catch me and place me back on the floor. We tried the couch again and I made it. My lunch did not. I was in a lot of pain, but I wasn’t sure why! I asked him to help me to the bathroom and I passed out again. I do not pass out or loose my lunch easily. So my husband wanted to take me to the ER, but I said no as we did not have insurance and I was starting to feel a little better (less pain) the more I laid down. We made an appointment to see the doctor the next day and my husband found an “insurance plan” (which ended up not being real insurance and they dropped us without telling us 3 months later). We went to the doctors and they did a pregnancy test and it was positive. My husband was excited, but I told him, my fainting was not a good sign. We then went to the hospital (per the doctor’s request) to get a sonogram and they were not seeing the baby (too small) and instead there was a lot of fluid. I had an emergency laproscopy to take out one of my ovaries as it was toast. They did not find the baby. I was CRUSHED! Not only was this supposed to be our last baby (it is suggested to only have 3 c-sections and then you are done), but I am getting older, I have PCOS which means I have to work hard on my diet to get pregnant, and now I have half of my reproductive organs left.
After the miscarriage, I tried to keep myself as occupied as possible. I went home the day after the surgery and took the day off from work, but I couldn’t stop crying. My husband was home to help with the boys and I tried to hide the sadness as much as possible. I talked to family and friends on the phone, but I didn’t want to. I went to work the next day as I work on the computer from home. It kept my mind busy and away from my loss. I was depressed for the rest of the year. I was mad at God. How could he let this happen? What can be gained from this? Did He not understand that we didn’t have the money for the surgery? That due to PCOS, I get depressed and withdrawn even more than I am?
It was about November to December of 2016 that I started researching about losing weight and starting to organize my house to feel less depressed. I watched videos on Youtube and implemented some organizing tips and started to declutter my house with the time I could (with working 30 hours a week and taking care of 2 boys in the process).
In February 2017, I started to exercise using Youtube videos and an exercise program I could do at home online. You can exercise for 15-45 minutes a day, almost anywhere in your house, and with little to no extra equipment. I started to lose inches and eventually some pounds. I also started to have irregular periods, so I went to my Doctor for Metformin. It worked, but the next month, I was having issues again which was different than the other 2 times I have taken the medicine. By the 2nd month, I was feeling very sick over taking the medicine, so I stopped. In May, we found out that we were expecting! It truly is a God thing due to how hard it is for me to get pregnant. I did do a LOT of praying to have each of my babies, but I prayed from the deepest part of my soul for this pregnancy.