What is a rainbow baby?
This is a child who is born after a miscarriage. I have had many family members – aunts, grandmas, older people I know, who have had miscarriages, but you never expect it to happen to you. I was devastated after my miscarriage but my story is not the worst one. There are so many people who have the baby almost to full term and they lose the baby. I had the baby for 1 day and it was so small that the hospital care couldn’t find it in the sonogram or in the removal of the ovary that ruptured. So you would think I would have gotten over the loss quickly due to only knowing I was pregnant for a day and then not be pregnant the next.
It is not easy for anyone to lose a baby. From what I have read from other mothers who have miscarried, it is like a piece of them is missing. I had no desire to do much of anything for 6 months. I was blessed with 2 boys, have a wonderful husband, my mother-in-law came to live with us and she is such a help, so I was really blessed. However, I have PCOS which makes it hard to conceive. I also was getting older and only wanted one more baby. Plus, with the miscarriage, I lost half of my reproductive organs so it made the chances even slimmer.
Getting Healthy
In January 2017, I decided to get healthier (and try to have one more baby). I found an exercise program that worked for me. I ate the correct things I should and avoided the foods that my PCOS doesn’t tolerate. Due to my change in habits, my period was not being regular and I asked the doctor for some Metformin. It helped regulate me before (also shortly after 1 dose and I would be pregnant). In March, I had to ask the doctor again for another prescription and I got sick to my stomach and had to stop taking it. I was getting discouraged as my husband and I had been trying to have this baby for over 8 months now and still nothing. Maybe I wasn’t meant to have another one. I prayed desperately and wholeheartedly that God’s Will would be done. Maybe we weren’t able to handle a 3rd child. Maybe we couldn’t afford it. I told God that I desperately wanted a 3rd child and that it be a girl, but I also told him that I understood if we weren’t supposed to have another baby. God knows what we want and need more than we do. So, I made up my mind that I would keep exercising and trying to be healthier for me. I started decluttering and organizing my house as well (still in progress). Finally in June, I was starting to feel cold all the time and was really tired. I was getting excited that I was pregnant, but we have had so many times when I would be late, pee on a stick, and the next day, I would start my cycle, that I didn’t want to say too much. I did let my husband in on the suspicion and at the end of June, we had a positive home pregnancy test!
We were so excited, but inside I wasn’t sure if I really was pregnant. Even going to the doctors and getting a positive test there didn’t make it real enough. It wasn’t until my first OBGYN appointment which was near the end of August that I saw the sonogram, and I finally believed we were expecting. I was excited, but I was scared and afraid something was going to happen. Only God knows why a miscarriage happens.
As I am nearing my 3rd trimester, I am organizing baby clothes given to me by family members and I am still scared. I am also excited and trying to wait to get other baby items out and put together. Who wants to trip over a baby swing for 3 months until the baby arrives. I trust God’s Will and I know He is with me, but I am still human. Every week I feel better that the baby has more of a chance to be in our family. God has a plan for this little one as much as He had a plan for the one we lost. I thank God so much for the chance he has given us to have another baby. When I look at the odds I have to conceive, I realize this is ALL GOD.